Splashing around in the Shallow End

How to avoid road rage in the slow lane

Too slow for the fast lane and too impatient for the slow, I like to splash around in the part of the pool sectioned off for anarchy. Swimming about in a wonky infinity symbol, swerving to avoid the kids practicing back flips and the old fella wrestling with a foam noodle, is my kind of happy time.

When I do try swimming in a line I always veer to the right as being a mighty left-hander, my body naturally wants to swim in clockwise donuts. I don’t mind but I can’t imagine its much fun for my fellow swimmers.

A most shameful moment in the Holloway pool 2012 when, in the middle of one single backstroke, I managed to accidentally grab a passing bollock in my left hand, and an entirely separate swimmers boob with my right. That’s why, even though my lumber vertebrae cry out for it, I approach back crawl with extreme caution.

This is the story of when I rejoined my local swimming pool a couple of weeks ago, or how easy it is for me to have an existential crisis.

Happy Swimming and Happy Bright Sky Autumn to us all

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